It’s All In How You Look At It!

SROL4916[1]“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8  

It was the day before Valentine’s Day and I was standing in front of the Valentine’s cards at my local grocery store. I had gone in to purchase cards for my children and a few other special people. I didn’t realize how difficult it was going to be until I had already committed and was standing there in the card aisle, so I just stood there trying to suck in the emotions. This was the first Valentine’s Day in 21 years that I had not been looking for a Valentine for my sweetheart, David. As I stood there trying to avoid the “husband” and “love of my life” cards out of my right peripheral vision, I felt the tears begin to form in my eyes and that vice on my heart started to squeeze the breath out of me. I mouthed the words, “Jesus, please help me”. I realized that I was just standing there and not even looking at any cards as the lady beside me started reaching in front of me to grab one. I came to myself and apologized for blocking the cards and started to look again for cards for my kids.

Finally, I had chosen just the right card for each person on my list, grabbed some chocolates for them, too, and headed to the line to pay. As I was checking out, I heard someone say my name from behind. It was a sweet couple from my church who I hadn’t seen in months because of what we had been going through. They seemed happy to see me and hugged me and the tears started flowing (mine, not theirs, of course). Here I go, I thought, embarrassed. They asked me how I was doing and instead of being “A Liar” I just told them I was taking it a day at a time and right now I was having a hard time as this was the first Valentines Day in 21 years that I hadn’t had my Valentine to buy a card for. They told me, go ahead and get him a card anyway! You know, I actually thought about that but thought I may be crazy. But after they said that, it did make me smile and I was so glad that they made me feel a little better. I thanked them for the suggestion and told them that I might just do that! Then, another friend came from behind and hugged me and told me that he missed me. I felt loved, even though I was visibly struggling. As the day progressed and I continued to run my errands, I saw more people I knew who reached out and told me how much they loved me and were praying for me and my kids.

That night, Maitlynn (my youngest daughter) and I were sitting in the living room and I started to cry again, missing my sweet husband. Maitlynn said, “Mom, go look on the table in the kitchen”. I walked into the kitchen and there on the table was a dozen red roses, chocolate truffles and the sweetest card from her that said, “Dad wouldn’t want you to not have flowers for Valentine’s Day.” Well, of course I bawled and we hugged. The timing of the gift and card couldn’t have been more perfect.

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I love how the Holy Spirit comforts us when things seem unbearable. I love how he puts people in our lives that help us through the most heartbreaking times. There are so many things that I have to be thankful for and it’s really all in how you look at the situation as to whether it is good or bad. We have the choice to see the glass half empty or half full. In this case, I realized that I can continue to focus on the fact that I don’t have my sweetheart for Valentine’s Day anymore or I can focus on the truth of the fact that I had him for 21 years of my life and that he was a wonderful husband and father. I can lean on the truth that he didn’t have an affair and leave me for someone else and that is why I am alone, as some have to endure. He loved me and was faithful to me until his last breath. My children have a legacy of a good, godly father and I will always have fond memories of our marriage. I was blessed with this precious man for over 21 amazing years. How awesome is that?! This is “true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable”!

I can’t begin to tell you how blessed I feel at the end of my first Valentine’s Day without David. Have I had moments of sadness? Of course, I have! Have I missed him beyond words? Absolutely! But for the past two days, I have been overwhelmed with love from friends and family and that is what I choose to think on. I’ve been treated to lunch on the 13th by two special ladies who also gave me roses, chocolates and a book by Max Lucado, “You’ll Get Through This.” They spent time encouraging me that God has always taken care of them in their singleness and He would certainly take care of me. I’ve had countless friends message me, stop by my house and bring me special cards and gifts. I’ve had more cards and flowers this year than I have in years. I had lunch with two of my kids and my son in law is treating me and my girls to Mani’s and Pedi’s tomorrow as his gift to all of us. I know that David is up there having the time of his life and he would be so pleased at the love that others have shown me and my kids today. I will choose to “think about these things”.

 

We can sit and focus on the negative things that happen in our lives, or we can do what Philippians 4:8 tells us and think on the things that are “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.” There were a lot of other things that happened in the past two days that could have sunk me. If I had let my mind dwell on those things, I probably would have just stayed in the bed today and pitied myself. I won’t even tell you about those things because they were just there as a tool of the enemy to bring me to a pit. Personally, I just won’t let him have that satisfaction.

Where are you, today? Have you let yourself dwell on all the things that are negative in your life? Have you curled up in the bed and decided that you didn’t want to face this day because of loneliness, loss or dread? I encourage you to focus on this scripture and make a list of all the things in your life that are blessings. Compare that list to the things that you have let put you in a pit and start climbing out of that pit. Yes, evil will come–negative reports, mistreatment from others, loss of loved ones and more. But, there are certainly enough praiseworthy things in your life and I promise you that when you focus on those things, the others become less overwhelming.

So now I want you to let me know if this blog has helped you. Simply “like” it, if you don’t want to share anything too personal. But, I encourage you to share your Valentine’s Day with my readers and me. Trust me, it helps me as much as it will help you. I struggle, daily, as I walk through the journey I am on, but with the Word of God and special people in my life, I will make it and so will you! Be blessed today!

 

21 thoughts on “It’s All In How You Look At It!

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  1. This Valentines Day has been difficult for me I won’t lie. As a matter of fact I just told the Lord I’m tired of all of it. I sat down and opened my email and there was a new post on your blog. I just had to open it right then. Reading your beautiful words of encouragement stopped the tears and I feel much better. We are not alone. Thank you for posting this today. Your words and the Holy Spirit have brought peace to my troubled mind.

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  2. This is so good sister. It’s challenging and encouraging. I’m so proud to call you my sister and these blogs are ministering to so many!

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  3. My dear Heather.
    You certainly have a way with words. That post is just beautiful and totally puts life in perspective. Your words were also what I needed to hear right now. You are one of the strongest ladies I know and your faith is truly amazing, and your words are inspiring. I sent a link to your blog to my minister and Sunday he said, “she is really good and speaks with raw feelings. She really should write a book.” I said that I completely agreed. Your words can really help others.
    You and the kids are in our thoughts and prayers daily. I love you sweetie. Keep on writing. You really help others more than you know.
    How blessed we are to call you family. God never fails.
    Hugs to all,
    Patti. 💕🙏🕊

    Sent from my iPhone
    Patti LeClear

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  4. I cannot tell you how much I look forward to reading your blog and what encouragement I feel from reading each and every entry. I gain a new perspective from each and every one. There is not a doubt this is what God intends for you to do as you journey through this new chapter of life. I am praying for you and your family as you go through all of your “firsts”.

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  5. I Wish Life for Us ALL was Just A “Bowl of Cherries”, but Most Find that Sometimes during your Life, It’s “The Pits”!!!! That’s Why We Need One Another, To Care for One Another & Share about some of your Lifes Disappointments & Struggles. Thanks, Heather for Sharing Your Heart ❤️
    & Encouraging Us!!! 😘

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  6. Love you! Was just feeling sad that our Abbi girl is not here for me to spoil this Valentine’s Day, then I read this. You are right we need to focus on the beautiful memories we have. Thank you for this! I love you Heather and have been praying for you and your family. God Bless you richly, and as I can see He is doing just that. ❤️

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  7. Beautiful words and so true! The thought that came to my mind was how people look at a piece of art. The untrained eye can view it and have no appreciation for the beauty that is in front of them; while the trained eye can look at the same piece and really see and appreciate it for the masterpiece that it is.

    We live in a world that always seems to be focused on the ugly, detestable things (just watch the news) but as followers of Christ we should train our eyes to seek out that which is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable. I believe once we can do this then we will start to see the world the way that He sees it.

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  8. You are an inspiration, even in tough times you remind us to look at the positives. You don’t know how many times you have blessed me. I love you, you mean so to me.

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  9. I don’t remember who suggested we have lunch at a new restaurant downtown a few years ago, but little did I know that the Lord was about to demonstrate His tender mercies to me. I am so thankful that you are letting Him speak through the words of your mouth and the meditations of your heart!!!

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    1. I’m so glad for that encounter with the lunch bunch, too. He has a way of bringing His children together. So thankful for you Kirby. You have encouraged my family through this past year and we are so grateful. Blessings!

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  10. I discovered your site from another that I follow. My wife battled a blood cancer and subsequent health problems for years after her bone marrow transplant. Fortunately and thank God that over time she did improve. It affected the whole family in a number of ways and on many different levels. And to be honest we did not realize some of these affects until much later. Fortunately we are all doing well now.
    You have a beautiful blog and I like the faith element. I’ll be following. God bless you and your family.

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    1. So glad you found my site and glad you are following. I love how we are able to come together in this format and share our stories and help one another. I’m so glad you made it through that trial. God is so faithful. I will pray for you and your family. God bless you and yours as well!! Heather

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